A pair of black binoculars resting on a red surface, with reflections visible in the lenses.

Reframing

Learning to change how you look at things

Summary

01
Catch it: Notice what you are thinking

02
Check it: Is this true, or is there something hijacking my thoughts

03
Change it: What would be a more honest or useful way to look at this

A black pen with an adjustable clip is positioned vertically on a white background.

This is a pen

Shocking stuff I know.

But what you actually see is not just what the thing is but how your mind judges it. What does this mean? Well what you likely see is a thing to write with. But if you cant scratch your back properly, this becomes a potential back scratcher. If you get attacked, it might become a wapon. Your thoughts follow the judgement and there are nearly infinite ways to judge things (e.g. this could be a very ineffective soup spoon). Thankfully we can change these, usually automatic, judgements. A scary meeting can become a useful opportunity, a difficult conversation becomes a chance to improve a friendship, a competition becomes a way to learn what you need to improve at etc. Changing perspective like this in psychology this is called cognitive reframing.

Great example of this here

How to Approach this

Snow-capped mountains under a clear, starry night sky.

Is it a mountain or…

Freshly dug earth mound on a grassy field with fallen autumn leaves scattered around.

…just a molehill

Simple idea

If you have an upcoming exam in a subject you find difficult, or are playing against a team you know are very good what might your thoughts be? How many different thoughts can you think of?

We even have some power to decide what perspective to take!

“It is the way we think about a situation, rather than the situation itself, that leads us to feel a particular emotion and behave in a particular way - Donovan, 2023”

For example you could think…

I don’t think we are a very strong team and am worried about losing. Because of this I feel anxious and want to avoid the match.

‍ OR

I like trying to improve, and use mistakes to grow. This match might is an exciting way to test my skills and improve.

The power of a positive perspective

It is with our mind that we create the world - Buddha

Catch it, Check it, Change it

  • This is the first step or reframing, just noticing your thoughts. How do you see things. This can be helped by increasing self awareness. Are you worried about a certain outcome? Are you acting in a way to avoid something? Are you only thinking about negatives no matter how unlikely? This stage is just catching those thoughts.

  • This stage is stress testing these thoughts. Are they actually true or valid? For example, if I am worried about snowstorms, but I live in the Sahara desert in summer it’s probably not very valid. This stage is about challenging those thoughts after having noticed them.

  • So let’s say I have noticed some untrue or invalid thoughts popping up in my mind. The next step is replacing them with better more accurate thoughts. For example, do I feel like the whole world will end if I fail something? If I now know if that is not true, what is a more accurate thought? Maybe I will have to learn from my mistakes, or have to try again. See the difference! We can even do this to something as disliked as stress.

Worksheet

Do not think dishonestly - Miyamoto Musashi

Is this just gaslighting myself?

Ok, valid question. If I just change my thoughts how is this not just gaslighting?

The key in in what we are changing them to. We are taking away inaccurate thoughts and adding in more accurate ones. We are being more honest, not less.

More useful perspectives do not need to be less true.

When driving a motorbike you go where you look. If your attention is on a pile of rocks, you will drive into them. If you pay attention to the road, you will follow it. Changing focus from the rocks to the road is more productive, yet not dishonest at all. Here’s a quick video with this example.

A cozy setup with an open Bible, a spiral notebook with lined pages and a pen, a cup of black coffee on a wooden tray, and a green plant, all arranged on a bed with white sheets and a beige fuzzy blanket.

Useful tools for Reframing

Journaling

Writing can help increase self awareness (Williams et al., 2009). Why should this matter? Remember the first step in the reframing is to “Catch it”. By writing about our thoughts, feelings etc and getting them out of our head, we can see in front of us the content of our own minds. This way we can see the patterns and potentially less useful thoughts that could benefit from change. Journaling has also been shown to generally benefit mental health ().

Learn more about journalling
A person wearing a light blue shirt holding a gray cat with orange eyes.

Fear Setting

Sometimes, just seeing out fears specified can help us challenge them. Remember, anxiety is simply a fear of the unknown. One powerful tool to do this is called “fear setting”. Write down the specific fear. Now write down how you could try to prevent it. Lastly, write down what could you do to repair things if this happened. For example:

Define: I am worried that I will fail my driving test.

Prevent: I can do extra driving lessons and focus what I am weakest at.

Repair: If I fail I can ask what specifically I did wrong so I can fix this and pass the second time.

A hand holding a small black mirror reflects a pathway surrounded by autumn trees with orange and yellow leaves, with a scenic view of distant hills in the background.

Check it Checklist

You can ask yourself the following to help you check your thoughts (NHS, 2022)

  • How likely is the outcome you're worried about?

  • Is there good evidence for it?

  • Are there other explanations or possible outcomes?

  • Is there good evidence for alternative ways of looking at the situation?

  • What would you say to a friend if they were thinking this way?